Great name archive, 18-24 June 2012

Bread Crumb

Bread Crumb

Bre Crum

Bre Crum*

Something of a gastronomic selection for this week’s best name: Tayte Pears, Joe Corn and Felix Pie were close, as was Mr (Marques) Whippy.

But the winner was Bre Crum, a name so close to ‘Bread Crumb’ that one cannot think of the former without thinking of the latter.

Try it. You can’t.

Phillip Phillips, American Idol winner and kidney stone non-passer

Neville Neville, father of UK soccerers Phil & Gary and raucous partyer

Lang Lang, Chinese pianist and (aged 9) suggested suicidee

Dante Dears, US criminal and non-phone unlocker

Tayte Pears, Australian Rules footballer and slow computer sufferer

Bre Crum, US basketballer and additional depth provider

Felix Pie, Dominican baseballer and twisted testicle sufferer

Gwynne Shotwell, SpaceX president and non-rocket launcher

Marques Whippy, Fijian basketballer and pre-game vomiter

Joe Corn, US history professor and ‘national resource’ husband

Mysherry Moore, (then) US high school student and swimming fear conqueror

Windy Buche, French rugby player and two try grabber

Rider Strong, US actor/director and son of King Arthur Strong

PJ Boner, Irish ‘instrument weigher’ and Pioneer Award recipient

Zemgus Girgensons, Latvian ice hockeyer & successful tool possessor

*Pic courtesy of Tampa Bay Times


Great name archive, 11-17 June 2012

Sir Cosmo Duff Gordon

Sir Cosmo Duff Gordon

Most of the names curated here are two words; it takes an especially strong name of three words (or more) to make the cut.

And then there’s Sir Cosmo Duff Gordon.

Of course, the ‘Cosmo’ is captivating; the ‘Duff’ adds some extra flavour and by the time you get to ‘Gordon’, it’s a pretty satisfying concoction. But that ‘Sir’ at the start is what does it for me. What’s he done in order to get the ‘Sir’?

(As it turns out, it probably wasn’t his efforts when departing abruptly from the Titanic.)

‘Sir’ and ‘Cosmo’ are so incongruous a coupling that it’s endearing – the leap from the stately ‘Sir’ to the Seinfeldian ‘Cosmo’ is such that it scarcely matters what comes next. Quite the achievement in a name.

On to this week’s assortment:

Coach Wei, US tech company CEO and anti-lean advocate

Lyle Link, US jazz saxophonist and chest slicer

Kash Kalkowski, US baseballer and pretty mean stick swinger

Elijah Goldtrap, American footballer and good putter

Caramyl Drake-May, University of Alabama academic advisor and incoming student activist

Montgomery Meigs, former US Army General and uncertainty embracer

August Sander, German photographer and / or self-portrait assister

Hiro Himmerl, 1yo son of late American photographer Anton and auction beneficiary

Dwight Dasher, American footballer and inadvertent opposition inspirer

Noxolo Nogwaza, South African gay rights activist and murder victim

Yaya Herman Dune, French singer and oddball Parisian rock band frontman

Mister Alexander, American footballer and ‘Mentally Ready’ court non-appearer

Winston Watson, US drummer and Hong Kong newspaper Bob Dylan misquotee

Erastus Fairbanks Snow, Mormon pioneer and co-founder (along with William J. Flake) of Snowflake, AZ

Sir Cosmo Duff Gordon, dueling pistol Olympics competitor and Titanic survivor

Great name archive, 4-10 June 2012

Fabulous Flournoy

Fabulous Flournoy (courtesy of

Hard to go past Fabulous Flournoy for this week’s Most Valuable Name. What must it be like being growing up as an African-American boy in the Bronx with a first name like Fabulous? One would think: less than Fabulous.

It’s the ‘l’ in the surname that elevates this name to something beyond brilliant. By the time your mind has processed that someone is called Fabulous, you establish that the surname also begins with ‘F’. As your tongue moves on from the ‘F’, it encounters that second ‘l’ – after the ‘f’ and ‘l’ from the first name, this repetition is just delightful. Trying saying it yourself: Fabulous Flournoy.

Oh, it’s fabulous.

This week’s names:

Potito Starace, Italian tennis player and bettor

Sara Serpa, Portuguese/American jazz singer and wordless improvisor

Spencer Paysinger, American footballer and eternal sports encircler

Ryker Killins, Canadian ice-hockeyer and in-game thinker

Baaba Maal, Senegalese singer and food crisis observer

Preston Dial, American footballer and romantic matchmaker

Uffa Fox, boat designer and canoe-riding English Channel crosser

Chucky Leroy Laster, Naperville (IL) resident and alleged panderer

J.R. Sweezy, American footballer and 65-year-old bus driver alleged assaulter

Barry Blitt, US artist and offensive cover explainer

Fabulous Flournoy, British-based US basketball player/coach and ghetto escaper

Quan Sturdivant, American footballer and drug charge non-facer

Kerwin Swint, American political scientist/author and Cobb County commentator

Kermit Bloomgarden, Broadway producer, former accountant and limb loser

Randy Bullock, NFL player and Gatorade video subject

Q & A with Tank Carder

Tank Carder

Tank Carder, NFL player, car crash survivor and former world BMX champion

Quite excited about my latest Q&A, featuring NFL player Tank Carder. It’s my first with a NFL player, and I really appreciate Tank taking the time to respond.

Tank’s back-story is fascinating (the New York Times has a great profile): he was a world BMX champion at age 9, but quit a couple of years later essentially due to burn-out. He was then nearly killed in a car crash. After all that, he still has made it through to the NFL. Tank, indeed.

1) Your birth name is Ricky but for all intents and purposes it looks like you’re Tank. (Even your Wikipedia entry just has ‘Tank’ in the heading.) Do you think of yourself as Ricky or Tank? Does anyone call you Ricky anymore?
My name is Tank, I have been Tank since I was 18 months old. I got Ricky from my dad, I am actually a Jr. so my dad is Ricky (but) I’m Tank.

2) Do you actually like Tank? What’s the story behind where it comes from?
All I have ever known is Tank as my name, so I don’t know any different. I got it when I was 18 months old from a family friend, he started calling me Tank because I was like 33 pounds when I was 18 months old, and I started responding to it and it just stuck.

3) What does your name mean to you? Do YOU think you have a great name?
It means a lot to me, it is a good football name and the best part is I didn’t change it to that because of football, it has always been my name.

4) Is it good or bad – or perhaps a bit of both – to have a distinctive name?
I think it is good and bad. The upside is that is is a cool name that people can always remember, and the down side prolly is I always have to explain why my name is Tank.

5) Do you care what others think of your name? What reactions from others have you encountered over the years?
I don’t care what people think. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. But some reactions are that they don’t believe that it is my name and ask for my real name. Depending on the person, I tell them it is my real name. I am legally changing it to Tank in July so now I can really say it and mean it.

6) Do you have a favourite name you’ve come across over the years?
This guy’s name is Rusty and his last name is Rifle and his parents gave him a pretty unique middle name. “Rusty Remington Rifle”. True story.

7) Ever been in (or on) a tank? 🙂
I have been on a tank, but it was at a paintball park and didn’t run or anything.

8) Hypothetical: you’re on a bad team. The worse the team plays, the better draft pick it gets for next season. Do you, Tank Carder, play to win or do you … tank harder? 🙂
I play to win as a team, personal gains aren’t as rewarding as when we win.

Great name archive, 28 May – 3 June 2012

Fenella Fudge

Fenella Fudge

Not too much doubt about my favourite name this week: it has to be Fenella Fudge.

Not only does it packs a fiercely fearsome alliteration, but it also contains a loving Britishness coupled with its ability to be the name of a new Bond romantic lead/villain.

It also fits neatly into my ‘two-word poem’ category: a name that is just lovely to say. ‘Fenella’ skateboards down your tongue before coming to an abrupt stop in ‘Fudge’.

A hearty ‘well played’ to you, Ms Fudge!

And on to this week’s names:

Tavious Polo, American footballer and unsanctioned party promoter

JT Ready, former US marine and suspected murder-suicide perpetrator

Cyhl Quarles, American footballer and good-bad moment experiencer

Dinn Mann, US sports media identity and thicker skin obtainer

Bob Tadashi Wakabayashi, US historian and Japanese researcher

Roosevelt Falls, really good, solid, hard-nosed & tough American footballer and coach impressor

Kirksey Nix, US ‘Dixie Mafia’ leader & suspect in assassination attempt on Name Curator fave Buford Pusser

Cotton Codinha, US editorial assistant and old The Atlantic story reviver

Austin Trout, US boxer and alleged possessor of no name

Yogi Berra, US baseball identity and oft-quoted personality

Rebecca Katz and Camilla Fox, US animal welfare advocates and coyote commentators

Tank Carder, American footballer and former world BMX champion

Wilco van Herpen, Dutch photogapher/TV producer and Turkish ice cream fan

Fenella Fudge, British TV/radio announcer and rescue dog walker

Jhonattan Vegas, Venezuelan golfer and presidential non-discusser

Great name archive, 21-27 May 2012

Texas Battle

Texas Battle

Yes, you get 15 names a week in each of these archival treasure troves.

But you want more: what value are you getting in straight name regurgitation?

I hear you, and over the coming weeks I’m going to experiment with some ‘bonus content’ for these archives.

This week (and perhaps in each week): I choose a Most Valuable Name for the week; my vote to the best / most interesting / greatest name of the 15 curated.

This week’s winner: Mr Texas Battle (it appears to be his real name).

Like perhaps my favourite name so far, Denzel Drone, it’s the suggestiveness of Texas’ name I find so, well, alluring.

‘Texas’ instantly conjures up America; its biggest state, the drawl, the way of life.

‘Battle’ is obviously self-evident.

Put together, it’s something I can barely contemplate. Who is battling in Texas? What about? Has Texas Battle ever had a Texas battle?

What a great name.

Onto this week’s honour roll:

Cardinal Sin, Filipino priest and regime change architect

Oren Moverman, US film director and corrupt cop archetype deconstructor

Junior Hemingway, US footballer and big play provider

Omagbitse Omagbemi, American dancer and apparently puzzled confidence radiator

Rem Koolhaas, Dutch architect and cool house designer

Callum Papertalk, Australian Rules footballer and nah-sayer

Lou de Leeuw, sustainability consultant, bike rider and cancer survivor

Texas Battle, US actor on The Bold and the Beautiful and Kinesiology graduate

Quentin Saulsberry, US footballer and reliable & thick physical presence

Lars Lagerbäck, Swedish football manager and open dialogue seeker

Alfredo Jaar, Chilean artist and fan of the unknown

Kee Boom, daughter of Dutch cyclist Lars Boom and emotion causer

Buncha Budwong, Monroe (WI) resident and intoxicated driver

Roy Choi, Korean-American chef and one-armed boxer

Sindarius Thornwell, US basketballer and name taker & maker