Finishing up

Quintavious Drains

Don’t be sad, Quintavious Drains – it’s been a great ride.

After some 15 months of name curation – and many hundreds of brilliant, fantastic names – I’ve decided to put this site and Twitter feed on indefinite hiatus.

Pretty simply, I’m stopping because I no longer have the time or energy to find and curate the names to a standard I’m happy with.

It’s been terrific fun. I’ve loved collating names, researching who these people are, and putting together 15 names each week.

I’ve loved that others have gotten involved: suggesting names, retweeting ones I’ve found that they’ve liked, and so on.

I’ve really loved that those people with great names themselves – most of whom had no idea who I was other than I lived on the other side of the world – have willingly opened up and talked about their names.

There’s lots of very good sites out there that take similar delight in names (Name of the Year and Funny Names Blog are two of the better ones) but it’s a source of pride to me that mine is the only one that goes above and beyond the initial ‘isn’t that a strange name?’ reaction to actually ask the real person behind the name what they think of their own name.

It’s my way of trying to show that there’s a human being, who exists in real life, behind all of these names as they come cascading off the computer screen.

Thank you

I couldn’t have come up with 15 names a week for more than a year if it wasn’t for the help of many fine folk. Isaac Forman, Kate Potter, Ben Fitzsimons, Hilary Talbot,CJ Fogler and Marcy Elliott-Rupert in particular helped with names, laughed, cried, etc. I sincerely appreciate their input.

A big thank you to Richard Deitsch, a fine reporter for Sports Illustrated who gave me an unsolicited and very welcome shoutout on Twitter. Another Sports Illustrated writer – and my writing hero – Steve Rushin is, and will always be, the benchmark for name analysis and writing in general.

Finally, a thank you to the fine men and women who agreed to provide As to my Qs. In particular, Q’orianka Kilcher will always have my eternal gratitude for her willingness to be the first. She made it an ‘easier sell’ for those who followed.

What’s next?

There’ll be no new names – under the guise of Name Curator – for the foreseeable future. I have a couple of Q & As up my sleeve which I’ll endeavour to get up before Xmas, plus I need to bring my archives up to date. Maybe in the New Year I can sign off in style with a ‘Best of the Best’ countdown of all the names curated.

If Sports Illustrated would like to employ me as a ‘Names Reporter’, I’d be quite willing to discuss terms. Similarly, if a US college wished to throw a PhD scholarship at me for name-related research, I’d be willing to entertain that notion too.

But for now, as the Year of the Name draws to a close, I’m signing off as the Secretary-General of the United Name-tions.

In the name of Quintavious Drains,



Great name archive, 16-22 July 2012

Larry Lumpkin

Larry Lumpkin

Nina Nazionale, US archivist and Deadhead

Larry Lumpkin, US footballer and non-punctual meeting/practice attender

Krista Knicely, Miss Nebraska 2002 and area school children speaker

Fred Friendly, US TV executive and Olympian thunderbolt idea hurler

Kreyton Polka, US lacrosser and sequential art major

Gideon Johnson Pillow, US lawyer/politican/military figure and non battle victor

Ashante Infantry, Candian journalist and great hair haver

Ras-I Dowling, US gridironer and hip addresser

Wiley Hardeman Post, US aviator and pressure suit innovator

Timberlake Wertenbaker, British playwright and love anatomy charter

Roger Rager, US racing driver and RV park owner

Angelic Aguilar, US basketballer girlfriend/mother and game attender

Chris P. Bacon, American composer and big moment finder

Aschwin Wildeboer, Spanish swimmer and pool tryer-outer

Great name archive, 23-29 April 2012


Buster Posey

Buster Posey

Zebulon Montgomery Pike Jr, US explorer and drinking/wenching spier

Miles Mayall, wine educator / buyer and Indian wine fan

Foeke Booy, Dutch football identity and fan of Name Curator favourite Ricky van Wolfswinkel

Justice Mordecai Bromberg, Australian judge and iPad speed claim determinant

Northrop Frye, Canadian literary critic and counter-intelligence target

Jaap van Zweden, Dutch conductor and Lady Gaga fan

Exree Hipp, US basketballer / Harlem Globetrotter and competitive edge maintainer

Watcharaporn Nantahkhum, sex criminal

Buster Posey, US baseballer and careful celebrator

Hylton Mowday, composer and seamless genre mover

Essex Hemphill, US poet and artistic priorities fierce defender

Slater Doggett, Canadian ice-hockeyer and every position player

Meri-K Appy, US fire protection advocate and ‘Get Ready Freddie’ discusser

Cookie Crackenbush, Gloversville (NY) Salvation Army branch manager

Randy Frimpong, ineligible Canadian basketball player

Great name archive, 9-15 April


Clancy Rugg

Clancy Rugg

Busby Berkeley, director, choreographer and car crash causer

Fiery Cushman, Brown University psychologist and beanball researcher

Clancy Rugg, US basketball and hopeful corner turner

Reverend Major Jealous Divine, American spiritual leader and banquet for 3000 host

Dr Washington Dodge, Titanic survivor and self-inflicted gunshot non-survivor

Randy Wolf, American baseballer and informal slow pitch contest winner

Shlomo Bar Aba, Israeli comedian, actor and page porer-over

Skye Steele, American jazz violinist and multicultural sonic wardrobe tryer-onner

Lousaka Polite, American footballer and charity dessert taster

Randy Hopper, US politician and conspiracy theory prover

Pam Purves, Canadian photographer and non-representational approach taker

Burke Badenhop, US baseballer and self-admitted jumble of useless knowledge

Yourhighness Morgan, American footballer and concussion sufferer (and note article author’s name)

Preserved Fish, 19th century NY shipping merchant and whale boat captain

Stormer Santana, Canadian ice hockeyer and former Root River Ranger

Great name archive, 2-8 April 2012


Destinee Hooker

Destinee Hooker

Rick Titball, British molecular microbiologist and bacteria understanderer

Hank Slaughter, Texan singer/songwriter and former stuntman

Marvell Wynne, US soccer player and and world’s fastest video game soccer player

Edda van Heemstra Hepburn-Ruston, Belgian-born actress and later known as Audrey Hepburn

Magnus Copps, Sir John Soane’s Museum Appeals Coordinator

Baron Batch, NFL footballer and 220-average ten-pin bowler

Will Chase, US actor, singer and co-star dater

Justus Hammer, cofounder of and Airtasker advisor

Destinee Hooker, US volleyballer and extra kneepad carrier

EZ Million, American political candidate and football game relocation supporter

Garrett Graff, editor and first blogger to officially cover White House

Nerlens Noel, NY basketballer & Twitter-account-inspiring afro wearer

Dom Perignon Champagne, US murder victim & Perfect Engelberger, his mum

Edolphus Towns, US Congressman and non-Obama backer

Dakota North, Australian speedway rider and English climate pooh-pooher

Great name archive, 19-25 March 2012

Lauren Bush Lauren

Lauren Bush Lauren

Lauren Bush Lauren, designer & 3000 hour hand-sewn wedding dress wearer

Fares Fares, Swedish actor in films such as Bang Bang Orangutang

Stanford Routt, US footballer and $4,000,000 signing bonus recipient

Larry L. Lavender, US auctioneer and former owner of the Troy (OH) Classique Beauty Salon

Gideon Glick, US stage performer and boy scout, karate and soccer quitter

Randy Bumgardner, Blair House manager and beautiful decorator

Captain Munnerlyn, American footballer and base salary escalator hitter

Prune Nourry, French artist and Sperm Bar proprietor

Autumn Fogg, middle distance runner and non-weather system

Four McGlynn, US college basketballer and hardest-working kid

Beau Brug, joint Young Citizen of the Year and Kokoda planner

Deems May, former college footballer and candid commentator

Hans Ohff, former submarine official and vintage car likener

River Clegg, US comedy writer and thing buyer

Nortei Nortey, Chelsea youth footballer, local boy and injury sufferer

Great name archive, 20-26 February 2012


Chord Overstreet

Chord Overstreet

Elkhair Balla, social entrepreneur and co-founder of first minority-owned condom company

Shepard Fairey, US graphic designer and creator of iconic Barack Obama ‘Hope’ poster

Bakari Bussey, US college footballer and son of Barney and Beverly Bussey

Elon Musk, Paypal co-founder and death face starer

Boubacar Barry, Ivorian footballer and fellow goalkeeper handshaker

Binky Griptite, US guitarist/emcee, Dap King and Mellomatic

Cecil McBee, US jazz bassist and unsuccessful Japanese clothing store litigant

Bernard von NotHaus, Liberty Dollar creator and subsequent convicted felon

Sir’Dominic Pointer, US basketballer and brother of Miz’Unique

Chord Overstreet, Glee actor and cute baby

Danger Fourpence, Zimbabwean footballer and illuminating Wikipedia article receiver

Zenon Pylyshyn, US cognitive scientist and pre-attention researcher

H Waldman, former Las Vegas basketball star turned business star

General Herilanto Raveloharison, Malagasy politician and precious wood quantity determiner

Olympia Snowe, US politician and beer booster